Oh, decisions...I'm not good at you.

    So, if you happened to catch my last post, you know that I basically turned into a 4 year old at my OB appointment and was nervous there would be a repeat performance at the next one.  Fortunately, I can say that I made it through the appointment with the other OB (the one I had originally wanted to see anyway), and it all went very well.  First and probably most importantly, I didn't cry. I'm sure she appreciated that. She was really nice and attentive, and best of all, she was open to trying Femara and agreed that it seems to have less side effects for most than Clomid.  She said she has only treated a few people with it (one just confirmed a pregnancy), so she'd have to check with the RE she consults for fertility info to verify a good starting dosage for me, but that she'd call with instructions and we could do my baseline ultrasound on CD3 of next cycle.

   Obviously, all of this is good news, but here is where I feel I have a decision to make.  I am doing well with my healthier eating and exercising, and though I'm not weighing, I obviously have more weight (or fat) to lose.  Also, the Mr. has not had his official SA, though we did do an at home kit where we saw what appeared to be good count and motility, so I know that at least there are sperm there and they are movers and shakers.  However, I'm wondering if I should hold off on the Femara until I'm at a "good" size and he has had his SA.  We are going to try to get it done this cycle, but since he's been gone for over two weeks, there is no way we are going to abstain so that he can put his goodies in a cup.  So, the sample will have to wait until we've been able to make up for lost time.

    On one hand, I feel like after waiting 14 months (and 12 cycles of trying), I don't want to wait any longer to move on.  I'm not obese and have "beautiful" (according to my primary doctor) bloodwork, so I don't think my weight would be a health issue or a cause for my infertility, but it would just be more to lose after a baby.  On the other hand, I feel like I want to give the Femara the best chance I can.  Honestly, though, I think the real issue is that I'm just scared that we'll move on to Femara and that it won't work, either.  I think trying naturally was almost a safety net for me, because I felt like, "Well, there's nothing technically wrong with me, so this should work eventually, but if it doesn't, we have lots of other options."  I'm TERRIFIED of injectables, so to think that that is basically the only place to go from oral fertility meds is just so scary.  I guess I will discuss it with the husband who will say "whatever you think" and then I will eventually make a decision and then change my mind when put on the spot.  That's basically the way every decision plays out for me.  Either way, I think I'm going to be on the road to something I want, so I just have to remember that.